NO COME WORK TODAY!!!

CHINESE SICK LEAVE : 'I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!'

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'

The boss John says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what You say and I feel Great.

I be at work soon.........You got nice house."

40 Expressions of Advise

Questions you just can't answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder.....

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

They get square watermelons by growing them inside of square glass cases. That way they can fit easily into a refrigerator, and you can stack things on them. Square watermelons are expensive though (10,000 yen or about $82). Compare that to regular round watermelons which cost about $15-20 in Japan.

(source)

The reason this is possible is because lungfish have evolved to use both a set of gills and a lung-like organ (hence their name)! In times of drought, a lungfish burrows into the mud and secretes a fluid that all but covers its mouth.

In this way, it prevents itself from drying out and can rely on breathing through its swim bladder, which functions much like a lung. Nevertheless, lungfish are not the only species of fish that can breathe out of water, but they are the best at doing so. In fact, most have such weak gills that they would die if they weren't able to reach the surface!

Learn more about this weird animal from How Stuff Works.

Drinking warm liquids makes a person feel more generous and trusting

According to a recent study at Yale University, psychological "warmth" and physical warmth have close connections in the human brain. Researchers gave volunteers either a hot cup of coffee or a cold drink and asked them to rate how trustworthy a person looked. Far and away, the ones holding the hot beverage rated people as more reliable.

The study's findings showed that the same part of the brain handles both sensations of temperature and our ability to trust another person. Knowing that this structure, called the insular, handles both these processes means that you should probably stick to consuming cold beverages when making big decisions - so don't accept that cup of coffee when a salesman is trying to sell you a new car!
Scientists in Canada also found that the inverse effect is true - our mood can also affect how hot or cold we feel! Their study demonstrated that people who feel socially excluded are more aware of cold temperatures.

(source)

If the Earth was the size of an apple, the atmosphere would be thinner than an apple skin!

This observation was originally made by astronaut Gerry Carr aboard Skylab, America's first space station. Earth's diameter is about 7,900 miles and its atmosphere is about 62 miles thick. This means the diameter of the Earth is about 127 times the thickness of its atmosphere! The ratio for a given apple is somewhere around 80 millimeters wide to a skin thickness of 1.1 mm (depending on the size of your apple). Using these dimensions, Earth's atmosphere is actually THINNER than the skin of an apple in comparison to the Earth and the rest of the apple. It seems the sky is not as limitless as we may have thought!

The full quote from Carr

How to Root the Samsung Galaxy S 2

Update: The Gingerbreak tool won’t work with the Samsung Galaxy S 2. Try thistutorial to root your Samsung Galaxy S 2.

Rooting the Samsung Galaxy S 2 – XDA

The Samsung Galaxy S 2 is definitely the best smartphone yet. If you are planning to buy a Samsung Galaxy S 2 soon, you might want to root it too, and also try custom ROMs once you are bored of the bundled one.

Gingerbreak was a one-click rooting tool which could be used to root many Androiddevices running Gingerbread. Apparently, it seems to work with the Galaxy S 2 as well.

How to Root Samsung Galaxy S 2

Download the Gingerbreak APK

Download Gingerbreak APK

Open your phone’s settings and enable USB Debugging mode (Settings > Applications > Development > Enable USB Debugging).

Copy the Gingerbreak APK to the SD card of your Galaxy S 2 and install it on your phone using Astro File Manager or Apps Installer.

Run the Gingerbreak app and follow the instructions.

Your Samsung Galaxy S 2 should now be rooted.

Note: This method is a bit risky, and very premature. Wait for some time, for a better alternative. I will update this post soon.

Migration Patterns of Early Humans

Siri Alternatives: Apps that give Apple's built-in assistant some stiff competition

You don't need an iPhone 4S to have your

own personal assistant

Sure, Siri can be a nice thing to have when you need to look up a quick fact or text a friend while you're on the road. Just b

ecause Apple's digital assistant has gotten so much hype, however, doesn't mean you need to run out and buy an iPhone 4s in order to get your own portable personal assistant. While Siri is certainly the mos

t well-known mobile assistant in town, there are quite a few out there that run on older iPhones and Android or Window

s Phone mobile operating systems.

1. Evi
Price: 99 cents for iPhone, free for Android (beta)
Download: Evi for Android or iPhone

Evi is a relatively new kid on the block, but probably the closest you're going to get to Siri in terms of functionality. Just like Siri, you ask Evi questions and get answers. Evi is capable of doing basic web searches plus more complex tasks like helping you look for a restaurant or find the nearest ATM. You can ask Evi questions via text or voice, and you can rate the answers Evi gives you t

o help her learn and become even more intelligent.
2. Vlingo
Price: Free
Download: Vlingo for Android, iPhone, or Windows Phone

Much like Siri, Vlingo can help you find restaurants near where you're located, perform web searches for information, and email or text friends. Vlingo takes the role of personal assistant a little further than Siri, however, by also allowing you to update your Facebook and Twitter status from the app. A free version of the app allows for simple web searches, while the paid $10 version adds speech-to-text functionality.

3. Dragon Go!
Price: Free
Download: Dragon Go for Android or iPhone

Dragon Go is integrated with popular web services like OpenTable, YouTube, and Pandora, allowing you to interact with those services simply by talking to your phone, much like you do with Siri. The app can be used to perform tasks like buying movie tickets or performing web searches to look up facts. Findings can then be shared with your friends via Twitter, Facebook, Skype, and Gmail, all without leaving the app.

4. Iris
Price: Free
Download: Iris for Android

Iris is a voice-activated personal assistant for Android that is integrated with services such as YouTube, Twitter, and Bing. You can ask Iris to do things like call or text your friends, search for restaurants nearby, play music, find news, or pull up your favorite cat video from YouTube. The Android-only app requires you to have both Voice Search and TTS library installed on your Android phone to work; however, most Android phones come with both preinstalled.

Use what you've got
Don't forget that phones running Android 2.2 and higher have built-in voice functionality from the get-go. You may not even need a new app, if you're looking to execute basic spoken commands and translate your speech into text. If you're not keen on the apps above, explore your device's native voice command features to see if they meet your needs.